Today begins a new chapter in my life: A re-emergence of sorts into completing my education. I've waited two long years to make this finally happen again. Lot's of changes I needed to make of myself in order to make sure that this second chance I had back into school would finish with impeccable results. I wallowed away for years, being lazy and unmotivated, to get the job done. By now, I could easily be going for my Master's Degree somewhere out there.
Now as I've begun the descent into continuing my education here in San Francisco, I am now hit with the roadblock that will seemingly never go away: Permanence. That's all I've been trying to establish this entire time of having moved into the city. I've lived in hostels, stayed with friends, but the one thing that I'm trying to see happen is a place for me to simply open a door, put my bag down, take two steps then quickly turn around, and let myself go...Let myself go and fall back onto a bed.
Most people for so long grow so comfortable with where they are that they stay right where they are, because it's comfortable and doing otherwise would negate the process. But I've noticed as time went on in my own experience, I saw the foundation I had already made for myself start to chip away, or crack, leaving me uneven of sorts. I wouldn't say I've started learning about the struggles of life on your own just today, it's been going on since I first stepped foot off the plane in San Francisco International Airport.
I've begin to imagine and realize the potential I have in my heart and my mind. I understand that certain sacrifices will need to be made, and I also made peace with the fact that not everything will go my way from the get-go. What I KNOW I can make happen is my desire and work ethic to get to where I want to be despite the setbacks that have presented before me this morning. I want to conquer every facet of my being, and this so called "setback" I've encountered once again will go by the wayside soon enough.
I have too much motivation and hunger to NOT make this happen. You see, when you've failed as much as I have already, you begin to understand that things can't get any worse. You notice more solutions to get by and make it right this time around. So for me, I've learned to adapt to change very well and utilize what I've learned to get from A to B a lot quicker than others.
Now as I start school today and begin my first semester in over 900 days, I take the time to remember where I began to where I am right now. I'm in a good place, or good frame of mind, to continue on and achieve success. For the greatest abilities we have to offer to mankind aren't by means of skill, but by means of thought.
I want to assure anyone that reads this that I'm good right now and in great spirits. I am extremely grateful to be alive and have the opportunity to even be out here on my own to pursue my education, career and dreams all at once. Just goes to show you how much I've grown since my High School days, I am no longer a quitter....but a believer.
When you notice the flaws you have make you stronger in the end, well...it's not as bad as you thought. :)
Peace and Kelp,
-Paulus Singletary
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